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Archive for February, 2012

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BUSTED!!!

ROGER DALE KILLIAN II

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4610 DEAL ROAD
CLAREMONT, NC 25801

 

     Gender: M     Race: W
     Hair: BLONDE (STRAWBE     Eye: BLUE
     Height: 5′ 08     Weight: 155
     DOB: 09-10-1983     Age: 29

 

INDECENT LIBERTY MINOR
  Conviction Date: 10/10/2003  Victim’s Age: None Reported
INDECENT LIBERTY MINOR
  Conviction Date: 10/10/2003  Victim’s Age: None Reported
INDECENT LIBERTY MINOR
  Conviction Date: 10/10/2003  Victim’s Age: None Reported

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BANK ROBBERY!

BANK ROBBERY!

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A reader forwarded us a notice he received from Peoples Bank.  It states that beginning March 1, Peoples is increasing their penalty rates on early CD withdrawals to HIGHWAY ROBBERY RAES!    They state that the penalties they may impose on some accounts of less than a year may be equal to ALL OF THE INTEREST EARNED!  The interest on a 24 month CD may be EQUAL TO 12 MONTHS INTEREST!

WHY IS IT  BANK ROBBERS GO TO JAIL WHILE THE PEOPLE ROBBERS REMAIN FREE?

Remember this when you receive your PENEWAL NOTICE.

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OUR SOUTHERN WAYS

Alabama

  A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

  “Where’s Henry?” the others asked.

  “Henry had a stroke o’ some kind.  He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.

  “You left Henry layin’ out there, and carried the deer back?” they inquired.

  “A tough call,” nodded the hunter.  “But I figured no one’s gonna  steal Henry!”

Georgia

  The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice. — So, he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

  He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the  University of Georgia and I need some help.  If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

  The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everythang but my earrings.”

Louisiana

  A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying …. “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .”

  When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ’cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”

Mississippi

  The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”

  — The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

North Carolina

  A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.  Then he got back in the car to wait.

  A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious, that he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.

  The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.” — The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

— The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  I never did understand it neither.”

 Tennessee 

  A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.  The trooper asked, “Got any ID?” — The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

 Texas

  The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.  The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? —  Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”

“Yep,” he replied.  “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ’cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’ “

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TOUGH TROOPS DEPT.

An elite squad of six Chinese soldiers, performing a training ritual for a public audience in Hong Kong in January, stood in a circle and passed a satchel of live grenades from man to man, counting down to the expected moment of explosion. At the last possible second, the man caught holding the satchel discards it, and all dive into a hole for protection. At the exhibition, according to Chinese Central Television, it worked out fine. [Daily Telegraph (London)]

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CARTOON OF THE WEEK

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