Archive for July, 2014
RAT-OUT YOUR NEIGHBOR PROGRAM
Claremont has instituted a program similar to the TURN IN A PUSHER (TIP) program in which you are asked to turn in a drug entrepreneur; however, the Claremont RATFINK PROGRAM asks that you keep an eye (and a ruler) on your neighbor’s lawn. When his lawn exceeds a height set by the GRASS NAZIS, you are requested to notify Town Hall. What could possibly go wrong? Well, your neighbor could find out that you ratted him out. Oh well, that’s what the police are for.
The African hippopotamus is not found in South America — except for the estimated 50-some that, confusingly to natives, roam the Colombian countryside between Bogota and Medellin. The animals are the progeny of the four smuggled in 30 years ago by cocaine king Pablo Escobar, who generously established a grand, exotic zoo for his neighbors’ enjoyment after his drug business took off (and before he was gunned down in 1993). However, as BBC News reported in June, hippo meat is inedible, and without their African natural enemies, they breed with astonishing prolificness — thus creating a “time bomb” for Colombia.
HICKORY,-A Catawba County teen pleaded guilty in superior court on Wednesday after he was arrested in 2013 for breaking into homes and stealing women’s underwear.
Matthew “Bloomers” Pearson pleaded guilty to three counts of misdemeanor larceny and one count of misdemeanor secret peeping. He was sentenced to serve 24 months of probation, 120 hours of community service, and to pay $1,542.50 in restitution and $975 in fines and court costs.
He was also ordered to have no contact with the victims or their families.
During the plea deal the charges were reduced from the felonies Pearson was originally charged with.
The arrest happened in April of 2013, when police said Pearson, who was then 18-years-old, admitted to his involvement in home break-ins in a neighborhood along Spencer Road northeast of Hickory.
Since 2010, officials said, residents had complained that a prowler was on the loose and sometimes peeping into homes.
“We see break-ins all the time,” Deputy Joel Fish of the Catawba County Sheriff’s Office said after the arrest in 2013, “What is different about these cases is what the suspect allegedly took – women’s underwear.
“Stealing ladies’ undergarments is a lot different than stealing jewelry or something like that,” said Fish. “You wonder what other intentions that person might have.”
San Francisco’s activist Board of Supervisors, among the boldest in the country to rid their cities of obnoxious goods and services, added disposable plastic water bottles to the list in March (to join circumcision, plastic shopping bags and nutrition- challenged “Happy Meals” that contain toys). The water bottle vote was unanimous (covering distribution on city-controlled property), compared to the cliff-hanging 2012 vote (6-5), in which the board finally decided to ban unclothed people from the streets (mostly men, of course), where until then some freely wandered downtown sidewalks stark naked.